With the rise of Large Language Models (LLMs) and their vision-enabled counterparts (VLMs), numerous works have investigated their capabilities in different tasks that fuse both vision and language modalities. In this work, we benchmark the extent to which VLMs are able to act as highly-trained phoneticians, interpreting spectrograms and waveforms of speech. To do this, we synthesise a novel dataset containing 4k+ English words spoken in isolation alongside stylistically consistent spectrogram and waveform figures. We test the ability of VLMs to understand these representations of speech through a multiple-choice task whereby models must predict the correct phonemic or graphemic transcription of a spoken word when presented amongst 3 distractor transcriptions that have been selected based on their phonemic edit distance to the ground truth. We observe that both zero-shot and finetuned models rarely perform above chance, demonstrating the difficulty of this task stemming from the requirement for esoteric parametric knowledge of how to interpret such figures, rather than paired samples alone.